What Really Scares Me: a list of irrational fears
I think Halloween is just one of those things I’ll never fully understand. The thought of being visited by a demon is more exciting than scary for me. There are so many things in day-to-day life that make me lose sleep that made-up ones really don’t cut it anymore.
Babies: Babies seriously freak me out. Anything that small and seemingly useless has to be dangerous in some regard. Pregnant women as well, for that matter; I have two nephews and a niece so I’ve experienced this fear more than anyone ever should. Pregnant women are often emotional and visibly carrying the human equivalent of a parasite. Terrifying.
Birds flying overhead really freak me out as well. This doesn’t stem from some childhood exposure to Alfred Hitchcock movies though. It stems more from my acute fear of being defecated on. I don’t know, I just feel as if that happens enough in my life figuratively that if it were to literally happen I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
People not washing their hands after the big swine flu scare a couple years ago scares me now. Nothing says doom for the rest of our species like a guy walking out of a stinky bathroom stall and exiting the restroom without even as much as a glance towards the sink. I feel like this contributes to aversion to shaking people hands. I get chills when I’m in a public restroom and the soap dispenser is empty. I can’t help but think to myself “What if I’m not the first person to realize this and everybody else just kept going?!” My heart can’t take that kind of worry.
Who am I kidding? I could go on forever. I have irrational fears of: Sitting with my back to doors, seeing people look back at me through a window when I’m inside my house, shower mold, people who turn around too quickly in my peripheral, slow driving cars (I don’t know if it’s the Scruff McGruff commercials I watched as a kid, or growing up in Flint, but that’s a real bad one), people walking towards me quickly in any situation, warm fruit, stiff towels and the baby from Jim Henson’s Dinosaurs … And the list goes on.
So if we’re watching a scary movie and I don’t seem scared at all until a pregnant woman enters the theater, or I cringe and cry a little if you shake my hand, you know why…and I’m sorry.
nsmith@lanthorn.com
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Pictures of the Year 2012-2013


Courtesy Photo/Joe Kargula and Erik Peterson run the Marathon leg of the Ironman Triathlon

GVL / Robert Mathews Quarterback Heath Parling (12) leading the offense past Notre Dame College.

GVL / Eric Coulter Senior Jake Isaacson placed eigth in the Spartan Invitational. Isaacson's time of 25:04 was the highest among Division II athletes.

GVL/Jessica Hollenbeck Student Senate President Jack Iott speaks to the assembly during Thursday's meeting.

Courtesy / gvsu.edu President Haas and Montcalm Community College President Robert C. Ferrentino sign the transfer agreement


Courtesy Photo/ GVSU Athletic Department Sophomore Chris Cunningham lines up a putt at a past match.

Courtesy Photo / GVSULakers.com Andrew Darrell prepares to return the serve earlier this season.

GVL / Jessica Hollenbeck President Haas cooks pancakes during Family Weekend's "Pancakes with Presidents".

GVL / Jessica Hollenbeck President Haas cooks pancakes during Family Weekend's "Pancakes with Presidents".

GVL / Archive Forward Briauna Taylor (31) chases down a lose ball in a game last season

Courtesy Photo / Dean Breest Sophomore Allyson Winchester was named the GLIAC Women's Cross Country Athlete of the Year after finishing first with a time of 20:48.8.

GVL / Archive GVSU's Breland Hogan rises and fires over three defenders last season.

GVL/Bo Anderson Briauna Taylor leads the fast break during a game earlier this season.

GVL / Robert Mathews Associate Vice President for Facilities Planning, James Moyer, leading a walk through of the Mary Ideam Pew Library

Courtesy Photo / GVSU DII Men's Hockey Jeremy Christopher chases down a puck during a matchup last season.

GVL / Bo Anderson Students and faculty danced under the spectacular light show in the Devos Place Ballroom

GVL / Robert Mathews Martin L�wenberg, holocaust survivor, speaking at the Genocide Awareness Night presentation in the Grand River Room.

Courtesy / Dean Breest Senior Sam Lockhart finishes her indoor career with two individual national championships in weight throw and shot put at the 2013 National Championships.

Archive / Robert Mathews Giancarlo Brugnoni (40) rounding the bases during a previous game.

GVL/Bo Anderson Seniors Christ Koppenaal, Bill Madsen, and Mitch Weber measure the exterior of the Wesley House as part of an energy audit.

GVL / Robert Mathews Senior Anthony Campanella pitching against Tiffin University during the Lakers double header.

GVL / Eric Coulter Brother Jed Smock, a member of Campus Ministry USA, speaks with fervor to a student. Many students, all with differing views, came to watch the Campus Ministry members speak.

GVL / Sean Mouton A passing walker stops to admire some recently constructed pieces of Art Prize 2012.

GVL Archive Senior Nick Gunthorpe follows through and watches his shot at the Ardenson last year. This weekend the team will be playing in South Haven.

GVL / Bo Anderson GVSU's Katie Martin points to her teammate after safely reaching second base.

GVL / Robert Mathews Mary Idema Pew Library Learning and Information Commons under construction.

GVL / Archive The Grand Valley Rowing Team during Spring Training in Florida last spring.

GVL / Robert Mathews Judge Glenda Hatchett, keynote guest for Monday's King celebration, speaks in the Grand River Room in Kirkhof.

GVL / Robert Mathews Judge Glenda Hatchett, keynote guest for Monday's King celebration, speaks in the Grand River Room in Kirkhof.
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