The Joys (And Misery) Of Being Single

By Garrick See | 10/20/13 8:00pm


My fellow Lakers, I write to you now as a single guy hoping to catch a break. It’s been many years since I’ve been involved with another human being, and during that time, there have been too many unmentionable tribulations. It’s ironic that the amount of romantic comedies and love ballads I’ve experienced in my life have brought me to a standstill. My relationship status as of right now has no specific category because words cannot describe it.

But I might ask myself, “Why is this so?” Why do I feel the need to unload my happiness and my pain on someone else’s shoulders? What makes being single so much worse than being in a monogamous relationship? The answer is simple, yet confounding; being single means that nobody needs you to need them.

And why would you? You’re single and you have your freedom along with your money, time and space. Everything you’ve ever fought for in your life is now yours and yours alone. Someone else might just abuse those things if you let them in, which is why the only person you’re comfortable with is yourself.

But then, the tide slowly turns when you figure out that you don’t like yourself as much as you thought you did. The idea of living with only you is painfully unbearable because you know your ticks and knick-knacks are forever permanent. This creates a tiny little void in you that makes you think that maybe someone else out there might be able to share the load of living with yourself and maybe someone else who enjoys your ticks and knick-knacks because they’re different from their own.

Then, the wanting of a person to be with expands and you search continuously and you strive your hardest to find the perfect soul in a sea of souls. You hold out until the very last minute and then the flame slowly dies down. Your passion dwindles and the disappointment lingers in your bones and you feel as though you’ve failed yourself in your search, which comes back around to the idea that you’re now stuck with yourself and nothing else can ever make it right.

I’ve been disappointed like most of you have in my search. I want someone to want me just as much as they want me to want them. To be honest, it feels as though the needle is barely even there in the haystack sometimes. This is why being single is such a hard thing to do.

There really is no real solution except to have faith and keep holding out. We all want love in our lives, we all long for it. If not for human affections, then it’s for God or something else. Be wary of that void but never let it consume you. Do your best to be yourself and maybe another longing soul out there might notice you someday.

gsee@lanthorn.com

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