Dear marijuana users,

Stop. Just stop, okay? We get it.

I’m with you — marijuana should be legal, sure. You eventually cornered me a few days ago and got me to sign a petition, and while I have nothing against people smoking marijuana, I do have something against people blind-siding me while I’m eating to get my signature on a piece of paper.

Autographs are an exception.

However, I want to address some bass-ackwards logic — and underage alcohol drinkers can listen up, as well — behind using illegal substances and then justifying it with “But it shouldn’t be.” While it is not an inaccurate statement, it is largely flawed.

Let me first explain where I’m coming from: I don’t smoke, except for the eight cigarettes I had over the summer because I wanted to be a good writer. I support medical marijuana and, what the hey, recreational usage if it ever becomes legal. I don’t feel the need to explain why I feel this way because every stoner out there could probably rationalize better and include more facts. If there’s one thing I know about you dopeheads (aside from the fact that there are so many fun names to call you), it’s that you know laws and precedents like the back of your bong. Kudos.

Either way, quite a few people that I know have gotten in some serious trouble in regards to marijuana possession and every single one of them told me what they said to the cop that busted them: “I know it’s illegal, but it shouldn’t be.”

First of all, admitting that you know something is against the law doesn’t necessarily help your case when you are being charged with… breaking the law. Everybody and their grandmother knows that you shouldn’t have been toting that plastic baggie around, and grandma still doesn’t know what a Snooki is.

Secondly, simply stating that the rules of society should change won’t do anything; the police officer isn’t going to say, “Oh, geez, you’re so right. I’ll let you go so I can contact my Congressman.”

“But it shouldn’t be” is just like a child arguing to stay up past his or her bedtime. There is nothing wrong with civil discussion about the subject at a reasonable hour in a respectable setting, but now is not the time or the place to fight for your “cause.”

I honestly think that our generation is going to be the one to see this big turnaround and weed fiends everywhere can be excited about that. It means we won’t have to resort to synthetic marijuana use, unless you’re into acting weird and stuff.

What I’m trying to say is that wanting something to be legal doesn’t immediately make it that way, so if you get caught, do it with some class. Maybe one day we can be like Amsterdam, because you know what they say: “The grass is always greener where it’s being smoked.”

Love,

Chris

cslattery@lanthorn.com