Bad Romance: the College Dating Scene
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A couple days ago, I found a website where I could make my own conversation hearts. Seeing as it was nearly February, the month of love, I thought it appropriate to give the candy a go.
Before I knew what was happening my hearts were complete with comically depressing messages like the following: “so, so single,” “4ever alone,” and my absolute favorite – “this sucks.” When had I turned into such a love-cynic?
On reflection, I realized that I couldn’t blame myself for my not-so-friendly feelings regarding this month of romance. We are, after all, a product of our environment, and college does bad things for the concept of love.
When trying to meet someone at school, convenience trumps romance in the way that slamming a few beers is more efficient than sipping on a glass of wine. You aren’t going to go looking for love at the library, no matter how sexy whispering about calculus can be. No, you are going to take the easy way out, go to the bar or party in an outfit that would make your mother’s eye twitch, act like an idiot and blame it all on the alcohol in the morning. Apparently Jamie Foxx was on to something with this one…
And we mustn’t forget the ancient practice of dating, an old pre-mating ritual that our ancestors used to actually get to know each other. I know- it’s crazy. Dating’s distant cousin, “hanging out,” exists as a way for people to skip the pre-mating ritual and, well, get straight to business. No commitment needed. We students are certainly nothing if not direct!
I mean, it is no wonder that receiving attention from someone away from a party or the bar freaks us out. Even a cute guy asking me for a sheet of lined paper flusters me enough to freeze my tongue while my face contorts into a look best described as a constipated deer in headlights. Sexy, I know.
The sad part of this lack-of-love-story is the fact that we are the ones letting it happen. If you feel that casual hook-ups and one night stands work for you, then more power to you.
However, I would guess that, being humans, we are usually going to want more. We want to belong, to someone or some relationship, and that is a truth.
The hook-up culture allows us to forget that we are all valuable, and deserve to be treated as such. We lose sight of what being in a meaningful relationship means. I am not saying we shouldn’t have our “college fun,” but we must all be aware that the college idea of dating and relationships is not as good as it gets.
I think I will order those candy hearts, because not believing in college love and romance doesn’t mean I am a cynic- it means I want something more.
ccolleran@lanthorn.com
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Pictures of the Year 2012-2013
Courtesy Photo/Joe Kargula and Erik Peterson run the Marathon leg of the Ironman Triathlon
GVL / Robert Mathews Quarterback Heath Parling (12) leading the offense past Notre Dame College.
GVL / Eric Coulter Senior Jake Isaacson placed eigth in the Spartan Invitational. Isaacson's time of 25:04 was the highest among Division II athletes.
GVL/Jessica Hollenbeck Student Senate President Jack Iott speaks to the assembly during Thursday's meeting.
Courtesy / gvsu.edu President Haas and Montcalm Community College President Robert C. Ferrentino sign the transfer agreement
Courtesy Photo/ GVSU Athletic Department Sophomore Chris Cunningham lines up a putt at a past match.
Courtesy Photo / GVSULakers.com Andrew Darrell prepares to return the serve earlier this season.
GVL / Jessica Hollenbeck President Haas cooks pancakes during Family Weekend's "Pancakes with Presidents".
GVL / Jessica Hollenbeck President Haas cooks pancakes during Family Weekend's "Pancakes with Presidents".
GVL / Archive Forward Briauna Taylor (31) chases down a lose ball in a game last season
Courtesy Photo / Dean Breest Sophomore Allyson Winchester was named the GLIAC Women's Cross Country Athlete of the Year after finishing first with a time of 20:48.8.
GVL / Archive GVSU's Breland Hogan rises and fires over three defenders last season.
GVL/Bo Anderson Briauna Taylor leads the fast break during a game earlier this season.
GVL / Robert Mathews Associate Vice President for Facilities Planning, James Moyer, leading a walk through of the Mary Ideam Pew Library
Courtesy Photo / GVSU DII Men's Hockey Jeremy Christopher chases down a puck during a matchup last season.
GVL / Bo Anderson Students and faculty danced under the spectacular light show in the Devos Place Ballroom
GVL / Robert Mathews Martin L�wenberg, holocaust survivor, speaking at the Genocide Awareness Night presentation in the Grand River Room.
Courtesy / Dean Breest Senior Sam Lockhart finishes her indoor career with two individual national championships in weight throw and shot put at the 2013 National Championships.
Archive / Robert Mathews Giancarlo Brugnoni (40) rounding the bases during a previous game.
GVL/Bo Anderson Seniors Christ Koppenaal, Bill Madsen, and Mitch Weber measure the exterior of the Wesley House as part of an energy audit.
GVL / Robert Mathews Senior Anthony Campanella pitching against Tiffin University during the Lakers double header.
GVL / Eric Coulter Brother Jed Smock, a member of Campus Ministry USA, speaks with fervor to a student. Many students, all with differing views, came to watch the Campus Ministry members speak.
GVL / Sean Mouton A passing walker stops to admire some recently constructed pieces of Art Prize 2012.
GVL Archive Senior Nick Gunthorpe follows through and watches his shot at the Ardenson last year. This weekend the team will be playing in South Haven.
GVL / Bo Anderson GVSU's Katie Martin points to her teammate after safely reaching second base.
GVL / Robert Mathews Mary Idema Pew Library Learning and Information Commons under construction.
GVL / Archive The Grand Valley Rowing Team during Spring Training in Florida last spring.
GVL / Robert Mathews Judge Glenda Hatchett, keynote guest for Monday's King celebration, speaks in the Grand River Room in Kirkhof.
GVL / Robert Mathews Judge Glenda Hatchett, keynote guest for Monday's King celebration, speaks in the Grand River Room in Kirkhof.
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